THE KANGAROOSTER BECKONS
6-16-04
Oh wow, oh wow, this is really fucked up. Those pompous assholes haven't let me talk for over a year. You have no idea how this feels...and I have so much to share. Here is something I made that might help you understand where I come from and what I am all about:
1-16-03
I have come out of 7 months of distress lost in a time warp between this period and somewhere close to 4057 AD. Upon returning, I surfed mp3.com for a moment and found this wonderful tidbit on the Shotgun Message's mp3.com Info page:
"Artist description
we are a 5 piece band and we play. IF YOU ARE THE GUY FROM CONNECTICUT THAT WANTED OUR CD, EMAIL ME AGAIN CUZ I LOST YOUR EMAIL WITH YOUR ADDRESS THANKS.
HAHHAHAHA ahah ha HA H AHAhAh AhAh AHAHAH Ahha haH AHHAHAHAhAh A HA. That's funny. I don't exactly know why but probably some of you guys do.
HORSE has written two songs about me again, one of my recent dreadful experience, a chilling interpretation of what 1 minute and 40 seconds of the 7 months I was gone must have been like. In reality, I was really only gone for 1 minute and 40 seconds in my own experience, so this song is pretty fucking accurate. It is called Kangarooster 4057 and will appear on the split 7" with Bleeding Kansas only. The other song is called Kangarooster Meadows, and is a more accurate depiction of my everyday life. This will probably be on R. Borlax and some emo comp.
Now, I would like to show you some memorabilia floating in time that got stuck to my fur and feathers while I was gone.
Here is a picture of Andy 4 years ago, back home in Utah. He is currently 13.
Here is a picture of Nathan when he had chickenpox
5-29-02
Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron came out. If you don't see it you are very stupid. Especially if you claim to enjoy HORSE the band. This movie is about horses, plain and simple. None of that other bullshit. Just horses. Not talking horses, but horses as they truly are. Horses who refuse to be ridden. Horses who will not take any shit from man. Also, it is about Indians.
4-24-02
More letters from Mavis in Africa. These are really funny.
"ok, so right now I am in Douala, Cameroon (where i started) and so far i
have had quite an adventure. it has been challenging, exciting,
occasionally miserable, but definitely worthwhile.
Cameroon is a very diverse country in all respects and has been described as
"africa in miniature". The south is home to big cities plopped down right
in the middle of the rainforest, and is mostly french speaking. The north
is desert and french, and mostly muslim, but in the small villages they
follow animist beliefs and speak tribal languages. The west is home to big
volcanic mountains covered in tropical forest and is the english speaking
part of the country. they are mostly christian, but they still follow
tribal traditions. the east is all undeveloped rainforest inhabited by
primitive pygmies.
So i guess i arrived in Douala, the economic capital about 2 weeks ago. Its
a pretty huge city of 1.2 million, and it has a weird ambieznce, like its
decaying and the rainforest is going to swallow it up from the inside. my
first night was pretty unfortunate, since i was nearly robbed (but saved by
my pidgin english speaking "guide"/friendthatgetspaid). then i spent the
night at a hotel without its own generator, which means that from 6 am -
midnight, there was no power, which was a big problem cuz it was like 85°
with 100 percent humidity and i needed some ac bad. also the water didnt
work for some reason so i had to remain dirty and sweaty. I found a nicer
hotel the next night, and i was pleased. I ran into my "guide" at the
internet cafe and he kinda showed me around for a couple days. he came in
from a village in the west and was unemployed, so he had nothing better to
do. he wanted me to take him back to america, but i just gave him a tip
instead. My last day in douala i met another english speaker at a different
internet cafe who is a car salesman/ex frenchlit teacher. he used to have
an american friend in the peace corps and i think he wanted to relive those
glory days or something, cuz he was overly enthusiqstic to just drop
everything and drive me around all day with his cousin, a very friendly
officer.
next i went to the bus station, took a 3 hour ride to the train station,
then an 18 hour train ride to the bus station, then an 8 hour bus ride, and
ended up in Maroua, in the extreme north of the country. This was not a fun
journey. there were hundreds of moths swarming above my head on the train,
i got mad and spent all ngiht killing them.
Maroua is a very pleasant city, despite the opressive heat. it reminds me
of palm springs. partially because the men of all ages walk in pairs
holding hands for whatever reason. i ran into a guy who was gonna set up a
little expeditino for me, and he found me a guide an d a driver and we set
off the next day. there are no tourists this time of year, so i had to hire
my own private entourage. it was still pretty cheap though. first day, we
headed to the village of maga. it was market day and villagers from all
around came to town. the women from each tribe all had their destinctive
animist markings. strange tatoos and scarrings, stones and jewelry embedded
into the face in odd places etc. then i took a boat ride out onto the
lake. there i saw some hippos, they were mean, but i wasnt scared. the
fisherman live in little huts build on the mud/reed islands that form during
the dry season. it was cool.
next day i visited Waza national park and saw a family of elephants, a bunch
of giraffes and some other animals. next day we stopped at a bunch more
villages including Turu, where the women carry the big pots of millet beer
on their head, and koza, where the stone huts cling to the side of the
cliff. we ended up in rhumsiki, a very nice place, where some peacocks hung
out around the hotel. I climbed the rock/mountain of Rhum, which the
village was named after, and had a spectacular view of the whole
countryside.
we then embarked on a three day trek of the surrounding areas. the natural
surroundings were amazing. huge bizarre rock formations towering on both
sides of the valley. i cant really describe it and my pictures wont do it
justice, so oh well. we spent the nights in clay hut guesthouses of small
farms. the farmers life is interesting...sure its hard work in the hot sun
etc., but basically they just sit around all day in the shade drinking the
sweet sweet millet beer. my guide, manga, is from rhumsiki so he knew
everyone so everyone was very accomadating, offering up rounds and ruonds of
millet beer (served warm to hot and very grainy and spicy, gooood). i got
big blisters on my heels.
then we ended up back in rhumsiki and i got to go to a marriage. it was alot
of fun, i got drunk on millet beer and nigerian gin and danced around with
the villagers. the wedding was more like a telethon, where the whole point
is to solicit money for the bride and groom. you throw it at their face
while you are dancing around them. next day i took a bus back to maroua and
then a plane back to douala. in douala i called up my old friend, the car
salesman, and we spent the day together. that was yesterday, now it is
today, and i dont know what i am going to do yet. tommorrow my program
started and I head out west, where i may or may not have internet or phone
access. i am anxious to get back out to a small town or village, cuz the
city is too straining and dangerous.
music: not so good. a simple annoyingly catchy melody is played over and
over again through the whole song. its like a modernized version of the
traditional tribal music, which is not so bad in its original form.
food: very good. the grilled fish is the best i ever had and the grilled
chicken is amazing too. everyone always thinks that all i want to eat is
spagetti because im american, but the spagetti here is actually very good.
the tomato sauce is real tasty for some reason. the french fries are also
the best ive ever had, probably cuz they are made fresh from a potato when
you order them. at some restaurants you have to order 2 hours in advance
cuz they have to go buy the chicken, slaughter and pluck it. fried bananas,
lots of bread, stuff made of millet etc go along with every meal. grilled
"meat of cow" at the street stalls is very good too. there is this spicy
pepper stuff that the cameroonians put on everything. i cant handle even an
eyedrop of it. i challenge any of you (you know who you are) to swallow
half a teaspoon. i bet you couldnt do it. even though the food is so good,
i am started to crave some western stuff, especially some pizza or a
burrito."
This is another email about strife and unrest in Africa:
"when i woke the first morning on the chicken farm, i felt like i had a
bowling ball in my colon. the time had come and i had to empty my bowels.
i ran away from the farm to where no one could see me and assumed the
position. a massive pile of puddinglike green slime was ejected from my
hole. the smell was absolutely wretched. apparently thats what too many
mangoes will do to you. unfortunately, my dick was still in my pants and i
had to pee, so i clenched the muscle to hold in it,; but that consequently
cut off the flow off diahrheA, thus making a big mess on my inner buttock
area. the next day, the same ordeal was repeated. i tried to just pee, but
its impossible to hold in explosive rhear while letting out the pee."
4-21-02
I stumbled across some review of us on Quebec Hardcore. It's a cool site. Anyway, the Kangarooster wouldn't have anything to say about reviews (psssshhhhhh), except this one is in French. HAHAHAHAHAahhaa this is funny. I put it in an online translator to try to figure it out. Anyway here it is:
Etes-vous nostalgique de votre bon vieux Nintendo? La petit boite grise qui
nous a procuré tant de plaisir? Surtout avec ca musique qui vous tombait
surement sur les nerfs a longue? J'ai le groupe pour vous: HORSE THE BAND,
les rois du nintendo-core. C'est bien simple, un beat a la Nintendo fucké ou
Fisher Price produit par le synthétiseur avec un melange de guitare
aggressive, un bassiste qui pourrait faire partit dun band hardcore et une
voix grave criant a quelques reprises. Le tout donne des tounes d'une tres
grande originalité, rapides, agressives, mélodiques, progressives mais assez
weird. Les mélodies sont tres bien arrangés, le clavier est assez
omniprésent. Bunnies est ma meilleure toune du CD assez prenante et rapide.
Les paroles sont tout aussi bizarres que la musique... soit vous allez
adorer ce band ou l'hair; moi je trouve que c'est un bon petit band qui se
demarque par son originalité!
ROBOT TECHNOLOGY: Nostalgic Etes you of your good Nintendo old man? The small one limps gray
which got such an amount of pleasure to us? Especially with Ca music which
surely fell you on the nerves has long? I have the group for you: HORSE THE
BAND, kings of the nintendo-core. It is quite simple, a beat has fucké
Nintendo or Fisher Price produced by the synthetizer with a mixture of
aggressive guitar, a bass player who could make left dun band hardcore and a
serious voice shouting has some recoveries. The whole gives tounes of a very
great originality, rapids, aggressive, melody, progressive but enough weird.
The melodies are very well arranged, the keyboard is rather omnipresent.
Bunnies is my best toune CD rather fascinating and fast. The words are quite
as odd as the music... is you will adore this band or will hair it; me I
find that it is a small good band which demarque by its originality!
David's friend's mom is a nice French teacher who helped us later, so here:
Are you nostalgic for your good old Nintendo? The little gray box which gave us so much pleasure? Especially with that music that gets on your nerves after a while. I have the group for you: Horse the Band, the kings of hardcore Nintendo. It's really simple, a (slang expletive) Nintendo or Fisher Price product beat produced by the synthesizer with a mix of aggressive guitar, a bassist who could be part of a hardcore band and a deep voice screaming a few refrains. All of it makes the songs original, fast, aggressive, melodic and progressive but pretty weird. The melodies are well arranged, the keyboard is rather omnipresent. Bunnies is my favorite song on the CD, rather entertaining and fast.
The words are every bit as strange as the music..you are either going to love this band or hate it. Me, I find that it's a good little band, which distinguishes itself by its originality!
4-20-02
"Nintendo games don't affect kids; I mean if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms, munching magic pills and listening to repetitive electronic music."
-Kristian Wilson, Nintendo, Inc, 1989
Uhhhhhhhhhh I guess this band proves that quote wrong.
Here is an electronic correspondence from David in Afrique:
so in brief:
i am in douala, largest city in cameroon. it is opressively hot and humid in
this city.
ive slept for under 4 hours in the past 4 days. i hope to remedy that
tonight. i upgraded to a nicer hotel that has elecriticy for more than 6
hours a day and running water.
tommorrow i am gonna taxi then bus then train then bus and hopefully end up
in the far north of the country by sunday evening. that is where the
elephants are.
i wanted to write some personal emails, but i also wanted to get back to the
hotel before its too late so i dont get mugged. so thats all for now. oh
yeah, one more thing, my phone situqtion is very fucked up right now so i
dont know what sort of contact ill be able to hqve with, say eiman, who ill
need to talk to. but if worse comes to worse, ill be able to use phones
when i get to spain again on may 16th.
Love,
david
3-5-02
I think we should use this for the next shirt.
3-1-02
Here is a recent poem written about the Kangarooster:
Flap!
Flap!
Flapflap!!!!!
Tap!
Tap!
Taptaptaptap!!!!!!
ahahahahahahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!
THE KANGAROOSTER COMES!!!!!!!!!!!1
fLAP FLAPFLAP
PECKPECK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH
PECK
FLAP
TAPT TAP TAP
THE KANGAROOSTER'S FURY BURST FORTH FROM A AGE
OF MADNESS
HIS WISDOM HAS LEFT HIM
HIS LEGACY GONE
SCREAM LIKE CHILDREN
EMBRACE YOUR MOTHER
DEATH IS IN THE SKY
THE KANGAROOSTER HAS RETURNED
FLAPFLAPFLAP
FLAP
]=\=PECK-=PCK
TAPFLAP
-PECK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!1
DEAR GOD THEY SCREAM AS THE SKIN IS RIPPED FROM THE BACKS AS THEY FLEE
PECKPE-CK
FLA\PFLAP
ONCE A SYMBOL OF RIGHT
ONCE A SYMBOL OF LIGHT
ONCE THE SEER OF GREAT A FORGOTTEN LORE
BUT NOT ANYMORE
FLAP FLAP-\PECK==
TAP
TAP
TAP
FROM THE LAND OF LETS PRETEND
THIS NEW NIGHTMARE
IS COMPLETLY FUCKING REAL
SPREADING PAIN AND WOUNDS
OF GOOEY BLOODY OOZE
THOSE WHO SURVIVE WILL HAVE
SORES THAT NEVER HEAL
THE KANGAROOSTER BECKONS
BEKRAAAAAAAW!
BEKRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAW!
NOW WE ALL NOW FEAR!!!!!!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
THE KANGAROOSTER COMES!!11
AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
WITH HATE FOR EVERYONE
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
YOU DIDNT HAVE RESPECT
NOW YOUR ASS IS IN CHECK
HANGING FROM MORSELS THAT
ONCE WERE YOUR ARM
THE KANGAROOSTER COMES!!!!
PEC-K
P'ECKL
FLAPFLAPFLAPFLAP
TAPP
PECK-
;
ALL LIFE IS GONE.
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