2004...
In an industrial building next to a yeasty bakery in Vernon, California, a strange man found by Erik's dad on Craigslist by the name of Eel Eye, who likes to eat raw garlic and ground beef and then fart an unholy and staying essential oil amalgam of the two while pretending to speed read teen books, has replaced the oft-overlooked Alex Duddy as the drummer of H the B.
His tattoos are not in fashion and are a source of constant stress to the band. (They are now highly fashionable and we were wrong, sorry Eli)
A new song must be learned that was not previously recorded, called Octopus on Fire. This proves challenging. Many nights a week the band labors here with a carefree vigor, bringing in surprising ideas such as "I hold down one note and you say 'Slaves: masturbate to a single note' or ok there are drums and then you scream "Bird" and then do this duh duh duh duh duh duh duh and then scream Ohhhh!" met with shrieking, contortion, drooling, etc.
This ecstatic period of divine inspiration culminates in the Secret Sexual Jungle Party, where 10 LA residents selected from Myspace, donning their most splendid costume, are picked up at the parking lot behind the Echo, blindfolded, driven to the band's practice space, treated to a full performance of "The Mechanical Hand" for the only time ever, re-blindfolded, and dropped off on the street.
Their record label pays for flights to Seattle and a month-long stay at the Motel 6 Mountlake Terrace so the band can record the channeled messages seeding the latent instructions for rending the veil of duality and other such topics in the form of song with a man named Matt Bayles, who recorded Botch. Despite the band trying to ingratiate themselves through hilarious jokes and soul-baring tenderness, he remains unimpressed. The band takes none of his feedback. They remain friends. The band floods three stories of their hotel by knocking the fire sprinkler off the water pipe in a freak piñata accident. They leave Seattle in disgrace, happy.
Later, the members of the support bands for the current tour are born.
2005...
Tim Smith calls while Erik is working in the back stock at American Apparel Little Tokyo. "DEP wants you. $50 a night."
2025
We will play The Mechanical Hand in its entirety, for more than $50 a night.
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04/18 Phoenix, AZ @ Rebel Lounge - SOLD OUT
04/19 San Diego, CA @ House Of Blues - Tickets
04/25 Los Angeles, CA @ Regent Theatre - Tickets Low Tickets
04/26 Pomona, CA @ The Glass House - Tickets Low Tickets
04/27 San Francisco, CA @ August Hall - Tickets Low Tickets
05/01 Dallas, TX @ RBC - SOLD OUT
05/02 Houston, TX @ Secret Group - Tickets Low Tickets
05/03 San Antonio, TX @ Paper Tiger - Tickets
06/11 Grand Rapids, MI @ Pyramid Scheme - Tickets
06/12 Chicago, IL @ Subterranean Bottom Lounge - New Venue!
06/13 Ferndale, MI @ Magic Shop - Tickets
06/14 Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop - SOLD OUT
06/15 Toronto, ON @ Lee's Place - Tickets Low Tickets
06/17 Montreal, QC @ Foufounes Electriques - Tickets
06/18 Somerville, MA @ Arts At The Armory - Tickets Low Tickets
06/19 Brooklyn, NY @ Warsaw - Tickets
06/20 Philadelphia, PA @ The Foundry Theater of the Living Arts - New Venue!
06/21 Baltimore, MD @ Ottobar - Tickets Low Tickets
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